A Holiday Gift

I have a cat.

Her name is Tigger.  She's the softest cat ever.  She's kind of a bitch.  Don't get me wrong, I love her so much!  But as she's gotten older, she's gotten to be quite a grump.  I got Tigger years ago, when I was in elementary school.  She used to be so tiny we could put her in a large yogurt cup!

One time I tried to play dress up with her.  She did not like it.

I personally thought she pulled off the Madeline dress that I put on her rather well.  Whatever, she looked cute.

Tigger has had a few problems over the years.  Once we lost her outside [she was an indoor cat only] and she had lots of problems after that.  She is not too friendly with strangers, and over the last few years, she has gotten worse.  She hardly remembers me now that I have moved away from home.

The story I want to tell takes place on December 29, 2010.  My mom, dad, aunt, uncle and I were sitting down for a delicious holiday gumbo meal.  Tigger was a bit put off by people in the house, but I guess my coming home pushed her over the edge.  We had all just sat down for gumbo and then it happened...

Yep.  She walked in the dining room, which is odd because she usually wants to be away from people. We all greeted her, "Hello Tigger!" and she proceeds to sit by a chair.  Then she proceeds to urinate on the chair.  For a moment, nobody says anything.  Then everyone pretty much has this expression...

And then chaos happens.  My mother runs off and scolds the cat.  My dad starts scrubbing the carpet so it won't stain.  My uncle, aunt, and I are trying not to laugh.  And then we have to sit there with gumbo waiting while my dad finishes cleaning the carpet.  I don't know what got into her.  She peed on a chair ON PURPOSE.  Now I call her piss cat.  Instead of asking why she is so grumpy, I ask why she is so pissed off.  As my uncle says "Better to be pissed off than to the be pissed on!"

Background Check

I wanted to take a moment to explain my blog title, Little Girl, Big Hair.  It's pretty self explanatory, but not all of us can be geniuses like me.  I could sum it up in one sentence and a picture.  But where is the fun in that?!  Let me tell you a bit about myself.

Hi!  I'm Whitney Lynn.  I'm 22 years old and I live in Texas.  And this is me.

As you can see, my hair is a tad big.  It's like that naturally.  I disliked it for a long time, but I've come to love it...most days.  Not when it's windy and my hair gets stuck in my lipgloss, but no girl likes that.  I might try boycotting wind one day.  But now that I think about it, that's a horrible idea.  How the heck would I be able to fly my kite?!

Now a little bit more about me since I have your attention...I DO HAVE YOUR ATTENTION RIGHT?!  Good.  Like I said, I'm little.  I'm actually average to be honest.  I'm barely 5'5".  But compared to my hair, I call myself little.  I'm the only daughter so I've always been the "little girl" and it's just stuck.

I currently live in Texas and I just graduated college with a BBA in Marketing.  I work as a part-time manager at a store [SO VAGUE YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS BLOG IS ABOUT YOU YOU'RE SO VAGUE...YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS BLOG IS ABOUT YOU DON'T YOU DON'T YOU...oh excuse me, I broke out into song just now...] and will actually be moving to Los Angeles, California to live with my brother at the end of January!  So lots of exciting changes in my life!

Basically, I've never called myself an artist.  I can't draw realisitcally for the life of me.  Nor can I spell the word realistically, oh wait, I spelled it correctly that time.  I'll leave the first one uncorrected to show how I spelled it the first time.  SILLY WHITNEY!  That's what I get for blogging at 12.34 am.  But I've ALWAYS doodled.  Everywhere.  Give me a pen and paper and talk about something boring and I'll start doodling.  I taught myself some HTML and basic coding and graphic design in about 8th grade and have kept up with it off and on.  Mainly off.  Sometimes on.  Either way, I enjoy doodling and I also share my doodles in paintings and cards.  So, that's enough of that.

I started this blog because I love telling stories.  I take very boring and unimportant things that happen to me and exaggerate them to make them semi-interesting, BUT THEN...I doodle a picture and VIOLA IT'S LIKE THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER READ RIGHT!?  No...oh well, we'll get there...clap if you believe!!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU CLAPPING!  Much better :]

Panicked

I just had a minuscule moment where I just panicked due to the fact that I could not move my feet...until I realized they were wrapped up tight in my blanket.  It was quite terrifying because for those three seconds, I thought I was paralyzed or that somehow my shoes had been stuck together.

I also got hit in the face by a tree today.  I think it wanted to fight.  I did not back down, I walked away gracefully.

I guess this could be called a "mini blog" entry.  That or just a really sucky one.  Whichever.

Why do bugs always hit me in the face?

I am terrified of bugs.  They are horrible little creatures.   They come in many shapes and sizes and that is just horrible.  Some people like bugs.  I think those people are very strange.

Now I like some bugs.  I once had a rolly polly friend.  I love rolly pollys!  I even pick them up when they are inside buildings and take them outside to this day so they don't get squished.  I wish I could have rolly polly friends, they are so fun!  I like to poke their belly and pretend I'm tickling their little feet!

But that's about it.  I can't handle flies, crickets, roaches, spiders, mosquitoes, etc.  Even ladybugs freak me out if they fly on me.  Just a few moments ago, I tried to go outside to see the lunar eclipse.  I ran out in my pajamas and of course, it's way too cloudy to see ANYTHING.

What a waste.  That's not fair!  Don't the clouds realize this only happens every six months?  Dumb clouds.

Anyway, so I'm running back up the stairs so nobody sees me in my pajamas in the parking lot, even though they are quite cute.  I have many cute pajama bottoms.  I have some fuzzy leopard ones, I have Nightmare Before Christmas ones, I have snowflake ones, and my mom just bought me one's that say "Smart Chick" with a little chick with glasses on for a graduation present!  Anyway, I digress, so as I'm running up the stairs, a MOTH hits me in the FACE.

Like, what the hell?!  Did this moth just not SEE me?  So of course I freak out on the stairs and start flailing my arms around like I might just karate chop this moth in half.  I'm quite glad it was two in the morning and nobody was around to see me because I'm sure I looked completely off my rocker.  I'm surprised I did not fall off the stairs.  But this is not the first time this happened to me.  Let's go back in time...

When I was younger, I liked to play outside, where the bugs like to live.  I think my brother was outside too because I remember running up to him upset.  But I was just playing in the yard, what a happy little kid I was.

Wow I don't look much different than I do now...hmm...Well anyway, so there I am, running around, being happy, and it happens.

A fly flies into my eye.  I'll let that soak in for a second.  Now I'll repeat it.  A FLY flies INTO my EYE!  MY FREAKING EYEBALL!  And it gets STUCK.  So suddenly I can't see.  There is a big black dot blocking my eye sight.  I start crying and I'm like...

AND NODBOY WOULD BELIEVE ME!  Like WHY would I lie about that?  That does not sound enjoyable!  I might lie about something cool, like flying on a dragon or petting a unicorn, but not a FLY flying into my FREAKING EYE!  So I run inside and tell my Mom and she of course, did not believe me because I apparently am just a little liar, until I open my eye and she sees this fly chilling in there.

So she of course, being an amazing Mommy, flushed it out with water, which was rather painful, and sent me on my way.  But I've been terrified of bugs ever since it seems.  Ever since I encountered the drunk fly who decided to fly into my eye.

Dear bugs, stop flying into my face.  Hate, Whitney Lynn

Hazardous Holidays

The holidays are hazardous and I have not been updating like I have wanted to since starting this blog.  But I am now done with my finals and I graduate college TOMORROW!  So hopefully that will give me some more time to update.  So keep an eye out!

I leave you with a cute picture of toaster pastries in love.  I probably drew this about three years ago.  I think toaster pastries totally love each other.  Brown cinnamon sugar especially.  I love that flavor.  And s'mores.  And strawberry but only with the frosting.  Anyway...

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful holiday season!  See you soon!

Ramblings on an airplane

[This blog entry was written aboard a Continental flight from IAH to LAX on Thursday, December 2.  My flight left at 7.20 pm and I arrived in LA around 9 pm with the time difference.]

The flight is long.  I am not used to direct flights, that is for sure.  My father loves frequent flyer miles and so we would take one or two stops before our final destination.  Three hour flights make my bottom hurt severly.  I think it is because I have no butt cushioning.  I have quite the boney fanny.  I wonder how many words you can use for butt.  Butt.  Ass.  Bottom.  Fanny.  Rear.  Behind.  That's all I can come up with off the top of my head.

What is it about flights that make you just look...terrible?  I went on this flight look FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC!  And then I just went to the restroom for the second time, for I had a hot tea and a Mr Pibb [no Dr Pepper available...BLASPHEMY!] and looked at the reflection and I got a tad scared.  Is that really what I look like?  I blame it on the horrible bathroom lighting.  That can NOT be how I really look.

There is a man in the aisle talking to a man across the row.  Business talk.  Just thought I'd mention it.  I don't know why I feel like blogging now.  I'm TRYING so hard to go to sleep.  I'd love a nap on the plane, but I get so fidgety.

I first planned on doing homework.  That is the WHOLE reason I brought my laptop on this trip.  What a waste.  Because I don't even have the information to do the paper.  It's all on the internet.  Good job Whitney, you spent 10 minutes on homework and you're up in the air.  I'm not flying Virgin so I don't get free WiFi.  I got some free pretzels though.  I asked for tea, and the flight attendant asked me how I liked my tea.  I said unsweetened.  Then she asked if I wanted milk or lemon.  Both sounded good to me!  So I told her both.  So told me you can't have both in tea.  The lemon will curdle the milk.  I wanted to say "MAYBE I LIKE MY MILK CURDLED!" but I said, okay, lemon.  Look, I always drink Passion Tea and never need ANYTHING to go in it.  Don't give me options, I get confused.  I felt dumb.  And I should have gone with milk because the lemon she gave me was so miniscule, there was no lemon flavoring in it.  Sad.

I'm in seat 27 D.  It is an aisle seat.  I love aisle seats.  Why?  Cause I have to pee a LOT on the plane.  They say, drink a lot of water on the plane, due to something like getting dehyrdated in the altitude or something like that.  But if I drink a lot of water, I need to urinate a LOT.  And I don't like crawling over people.  It's quite frustrating.  I'm sure people hate me when I'm in the window seat and I drink water.  EXCUSE ME GOTTA PEE FOR THE BAJILLIONTH TIME!!!

The girl in the window seat is nice.  The seat in between us in empty.  We lucked out!  Now we can throw random crap in that seat.  How exciting is that?  It's like getting a present.  YAY NO ONE IS CLOSE TO ME!!!  Except the guy in the aisle.  Who has been chatting with the guy across from me.  Luckily he does not have is rear/bottom/fanny/ass/butt/behind in my face anymore.  I wonder if he farted.  Not like I would smell it, I fear my nose is dry.  I wish it wasn't.  I would not mind a little moisture in my nose.  Just a tad.  But not if he farted.

Oh yes, back to the girl in the seat next to me.  She offered to let me read her People magazine and we started talking.  She's about to get her masters degree in speech pathology.  She is quite nice.  We talked about school, my prison town I live in, she lives in South Carolin and her boyfriend is going to get his doctorate, and the book she was reading.  I told her how I want to move to California and get a job in marketing.  Glad I didn't sit next to a creeper.  That's always awkward.

My contacts dry out horribly on these plane trips.  It's frustrating, since I do not carry contact solution because I wear daily contacts.  I only have five for my trip so I'm hoping they hold out.

When will we decend?!  I want to get on the ground already!!  Hmm...

I just got REALLY hungry.  I ate some chicken nuggets and salad about...three hours ago.  I thought I would be ok.  Hmm...I'm quite sad because my coffee I got earlier [oh around 4 pm...it's about 10 pm...I think, I don't know where we are but I'm sure we've changed time zones by now.] I got at Starbucks was not yummy.  I ordered a grande caramel latte.  And it either did not have enough caramel or the coffee was burnt.  But I haven't been drinking coffee long enough to know what is "good coffee" and "bad coffee".  I just know when I make it sometimes it sucks.

Oh hunger pains.  Why am I so very hungry?!  Oh dear, now I have to poop.  Well I flat out REFUSE to defecate on this airplane.  That's just too too awkward.  Have you ever noticed how LOUDLY the toilets flush on planes?  It used to scare me when I was little and I would not flush the toilet.  Too scary.  Oh I like the soap that is offered in the Continental restrooms aboard the plane.  It smells like fruit.  Maybe cherries.  I'm glad it does not smell like bananas.  I would most likely vomit.

COME ON!  ANNOUNCE THE DECENT ALREADY!  I WANNA BE IN LOS ANGELES!  WHERE THE PRETTY PEOPLE ARE!!

Oh excuse me.  That was an outburst.  By the way, guy is still talking in the aisle.  Why did they just not get seat by each other.  Oh, someone smells like soup.  You know how people sometimes smell like soup?  Does that mean they smell like Cambell's or Progresso?  Either way, I wonder if that is bad body odor.  If I had to smell malodorous, I'd rather smell like soup that poop.

The person in front of me just reclined their seat.  Now I'm all hunched typing on my laptop.  I wish I could do homework this fast.  I'm just typing a mile a minute [I really have measured it...] but when I do homework...I stare blankly at the screen.  While crickets chirp.  Then I kill the cricket because they freak me out.

It's quite dark outside.  That's a good thing I guess.  I mean, it is a night flight.  It'd be awkward if we were up in the air and lights were flashing.  It'd be like WHAT THE FREAK WAS THAT?!

You know what bothers me?  People that bring NOTHING to do on the plane.  Like...you don't think you'll get bored?!  I get bored when I have a plethora of things to do on the plane!  I guess you could sleep, but what if you couldn't, like for example, ME.  You'd be SO BORED.  I wonder if anyone has died of boredom.  If they did, I bet it was on a flight.  Or in an accounting class.

Soup person is making me hungry.  For soup, not bad body odor.  You know what else bothers me?  I was in the jetway and people were leaning against the wall, looking INCREDIBLY tired.  I understand this, but it was only 7 pm.  Some of these characters were acting as if it was a midnight flight or something.  Very odd.  Maybe they all took Nyquil.

Now I'm quite hungry.  THROW ME SOME PRETZELS!  Delta has the best free snacks.  Those little cookie biscuits are so amazingly yummy.  I horde them.

I'm getting bored and running out of things to write.  I wanted to write until they said "WE ARE DESCENDING WHITNEY GET EXCITED!" but the pilot hasn't said that.  Rude.  Speed it up, I got places to be!  :D




Patootie.  Arse.  Badonkadonk.  Gluteus maximus [or minimus in my case].  Bum.

Excuse me for walking

I'm in the last semester of my college life and I refuse to pay $80 for a parking pass that I would only use for 4 months.  Now why are there not semester parking passes instead of yearly?  Why would I want a parking pass from August to August when I'll be leaving in December?  Whatever!  That being said, I park at this church that is nice enough to not ticket us if we park there.  It's at the bottom of this hill and is not a far walk from school.  So that's where I park, then walk up the street and then onto the sidewalk.

Let's learn the definition of a sidewalk.
side·walk n. - A paved walkway along the side of a street.

Ok.  I'm just doing this to make sure I'm not crazy in thinking I was walking in the street.  Sometimes I walk on the street when a sidewalk is not available.  But this story takes place on a paved walkway along the side of a street.

So it's cold outside.  I'm feeling fabulous in my skinny jeans tucked into boots and my houndstooth coat.  I'm jamming to music on my iPod.  It's pretty much hard to contain myself from dancing.  But I somehow do.  And I'm walking on the sidewalk.

So there I am.  Just jamming to my music.  I'm minding my own business just trying to get to class on time.  And then it happened.

 Yes that's a car.  Look.  I don't have my graphics tablet with me so I'm using a mouse.  And I don't draw cars.  I draw hearts and stars.  So whatever.  It was a big yellow jeep mini suv car like vehicle thing.  And out of nowhere it's trying to turn into the parking lot while I'm walking.  I want to be like...

"I'M WALKING HERE YOU FOOL?!  I'M FREEZING COLD IN THIS 35 DEGREE WEATHER WHILE YOU SIT IN YOUR WARM CAR LOOKING FOR A PARKING SPOT.  DO YOU NOT SEE ME ON THIS SIDEWALK LOOKING FABULOUS IN MY HOUNDSTOOTH COAT AND MY BOOTS?!  JAMMING ON MY iPOD?!  OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR STUPID YELLOW CAR JEEP MINI SUV VEHICLE THING!  I COULDN'T MAKE A GOOD COFFEE THIS MORNING BECAUSE I WAS OUT OF MILK AND HERE I AM TRYING TO WALK AND YOU TRY TO RUN OVER ME.  I DON'T WANT TO DIE TODAY OKAAAAAY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But that's a tad dramatic.  And apparently my eyebrows resemble Groucho Marx's eyebrows when I get angry, so I really try not to get angry often due to that fact.  So instead I looked like this...

"Oh my goodness what was I thinking?!  I can't believe I almost walked in front of your car on this paved walkway along the side of a street that is made for walking.  Oh my goodness if you had hit me I would have gotten your yellow car mini suv jeep vehicle thing all dirty with my red blood!  I am SO sorry.  I hope that I did not cause you to use your brakes.  I know those are so inconvenient to use!  What was I THINKING walking on the sidewalk?!!"

And then I was like...

 

Anyway.  I continued the day ALIVE in my fabulous houndstooth coat and boots.  No thanks to the jeep car suv vehicle thing that almost ran over me while I was walking on a paved walkway along the side of a street also known as a SIDEWALK!