Why do bugs always hit me in the face?

I am terrified of bugs.  They are horrible little creatures.   They come in many shapes and sizes and that is just horrible.  Some people like bugs.  I think those people are very strange.

Now I like some bugs.  I once had a rolly polly friend.  I love rolly pollys!  I even pick them up when they are inside buildings and take them outside to this day so they don't get squished.  I wish I could have rolly polly friends, they are so fun!  I like to poke their belly and pretend I'm tickling their little feet!

But that's about it.  I can't handle flies, crickets, roaches, spiders, mosquitoes, etc.  Even ladybugs freak me out if they fly on me.  Just a few moments ago, I tried to go outside to see the lunar eclipse.  I ran out in my pajamas and of course, it's way too cloudy to see ANYTHING.

What a waste.  That's not fair!  Don't the clouds realize this only happens every six months?  Dumb clouds.

Anyway, so I'm running back up the stairs so nobody sees me in my pajamas in the parking lot, even though they are quite cute.  I have many cute pajama bottoms.  I have some fuzzy leopard ones, I have Nightmare Before Christmas ones, I have snowflake ones, and my mom just bought me one's that say "Smart Chick" with a little chick with glasses on for a graduation present!  Anyway, I digress, so as I'm running up the stairs, a MOTH hits me in the FACE.

Like, what the hell?!  Did this moth just not SEE me?  So of course I freak out on the stairs and start flailing my arms around like I might just karate chop this moth in half.  I'm quite glad it was two in the morning and nobody was around to see me because I'm sure I looked completely off my rocker.  I'm surprised I did not fall off the stairs.  But this is not the first time this happened to me.  Let's go back in time...

When I was younger, I liked to play outside, where the bugs like to live.  I think my brother was outside too because I remember running up to him upset.  But I was just playing in the yard, what a happy little kid I was.

Wow I don't look much different than I do now...hmm...Well anyway, so there I am, running around, being happy, and it happens.

A fly flies into my eye.  I'll let that soak in for a second.  Now I'll repeat it.  A FLY flies INTO my EYE!  MY FREAKING EYEBALL!  And it gets STUCK.  So suddenly I can't see.  There is a big black dot blocking my eye sight.  I start crying and I'm like...

AND NODBOY WOULD BELIEVE ME!  Like WHY would I lie about that?  That does not sound enjoyable!  I might lie about something cool, like flying on a dragon or petting a unicorn, but not a FLY flying into my FREAKING EYE!  So I run inside and tell my Mom and she of course, did not believe me because I apparently am just a little liar, until I open my eye and she sees this fly chilling in there.

So she of course, being an amazing Mommy, flushed it out with water, which was rather painful, and sent me on my way.  But I've been terrified of bugs ever since it seems.  Ever since I encountered the drunk fly who decided to fly into my eye.

Dear bugs, stop flying into my face.  Hate, Whitney Lynn